Gremlins and Guarantees

I have decided that gremlins, fairies or trolls (maybe all three) come to the house and drink the ink from our printers.  In my mind I imagine these little crazies frolicking from house to house here in our sleepy little subdivision, in some kind of drunken orgy, slurping up everyone’s printer ink.

What good are the cat and dog if they can’t catch these little demons?!

And speaking of the cat and dog– with just me here for weeks at a time– they are enough to make Gandhi, Jesus or Mother Theresa (maybe all three) turn into deranged sociopaths.


Imagine a slim, fair skinned fifty-something woman on a treadmill at a gym trying desperately to will her legs to run under a 10 min. mile while on the four televisions, so vigilant, perched on the wall in front of the cadre of treadmills and ellipticals plays the following:  We should “discover” Ghiradelli chocolate squares while “choosing our flavor” of Lay’s potato chips.  When we are finished snacking, Alex Trebek would like us to call about life insurance with a “rate lock” that is “guaranteed.” Somewhere during all this was an ad about losing weight fast that is also “guaranteed.”  Oh, and Fox News was waiting for a speech by Hillary Clinton which promised to “slam Donald Trump.”  (Well, at least that one is guaranteed).

Not really certain if there is something even vaguely profound in this.  If there is, it eludes me.



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